Attention All You Fans of Woo-Woo!
- mad2473
- Apr 13
- 2 min read
At Ease, at ease.
Colonel Jon Kiel Bockmist here.
I’m the Intelligence Officer, United States Space Force (USSF), Area 51 - Advanced Research (LI- AR) and Information-Battalion Staff (I-BS) Liaison, Fort Charles, Nevada here. I’m here to present to you reports of all things paranormal and alien and set you straight on them.
I have had 25 years experience in research in this area and I have run across some mighty strange spaghetti in that time but let me assure you of one thing: There is nothing I have seen that didn’t have a rational explanation to it and I’m going to provide you with that BS from my Battalion Staff position. Take for instance the famous 1966 UFO sighting in Michigan witnessed by 80 people or more for over 3 hours who took photographs and made detailed drawings showing the craft, the lights and aliens looking through portholes and pointed out the marks on the ground where the supposed alien craft landed.
Well, the US Air Force investigated this and determined that it was simply a case of swamp gas and the photographs were dismissed as chicken coops. A bunch of college girls simply got hysterical when some Frat boys apparently lit some swamp gas (farts) as a prank. Fortunately, cooler USAF heads prevailed. Case closed.
One last note: Since that time our researchers have noted a similar phenomenon in multiple Woo-Woo sightings. In addition to swamp gas analysts have since also identified a peculiar type of mist that can linger in the air and cause a high level of confusion. The phenomena was first noted by German authorities who have explained any number of UFO sightings with this so-called “Bockmist”.
Coincidentally, its my name too and I’m proud of it! Enough said. Let’s get to our latest report.
READ THE FULL UNCENSORED REPORT, IF YOU DARE!
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